


Pumping and Blowing

by sponsormusings



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/M, Hunger Games Secret Santa Everlark Exchange, Out of Character, Parody, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 06:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/594689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sponsormusings/pseuds/sponsormusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a time when pirates sailed the seas of Panem, the captain of The Capitol is determined not to make the road to true love easy for Peeta and Katniss.  Hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pumping and Blowing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angylinni](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angylinni/gifts).



> For Angylinni, I hope you enjoy this :)
> 
> This is written for her request of an AU fic based on 'The Pirate Movie'. Therefore, this may be abundant with cheesiness. There are obvious parallels to the movie, but I have made a few changes here and there. 
> 
> Please note that all references to the source material - both THG and The Pirate Movie - are out of respect and for fun. Neither belong to me.
> 
> The title of this fic is courtesy of the movie.

The black flag unfurled against the robins egg blue sky, its crisp edges fluttering in the breeze.  Ropes shimmered and swayed in motion with the rocking of the ship, and Peeta lifted his face to the sky, the warmth of the sun comforting against the chill of the wind.

Today, he was 21, and he was free.

He watched as the crew worked the sails, bawdy comments exchanged and thrown about with abandon.  Exceptionally bawdy, considering most of these men hadn’t seen a woman in 20 years.  Well, except for Effie.  But she didn’t really count anyway; she was just there to keep the books.  They all ignored her pleas for manners and the like.  When you were a pirate, who gave a shit about manners?

He’d lived his life on this ship, orphaned as a baby and unofficially adopted by the captain of The Capitol.  Snow – or The Pirate King, as he was otherwise known – had taken him under his wing, instilling in him the value of honor, of duty….and of pillaging and plundering.  But he was only tied to the ways of a pirate until his 21st year.  And that day was finally here.

He’d been longing for something for so long, longing for something more than this.  He’d-

“Ah, Peeta!  I’ve been looking for you!”  His thoughts were interrupted as Snow crossed the deck to stand immediately in front of him, propping his leg up on the box Peeta sat on, resting his elbow on his knee.  “Today is the day – when your apprenticeship comes to an end.”  Peeta looked around at the seamen around him as they chorused a loud cheer.

“Ay!  You’re now a full-fledged pirate!”  Snow’s second in command, Crane, leered down at him from his vantage point beside the ships wheel, his blood red waistcoat flapping open in the breeze.  Peeta stood, his heart heavy with the knowledge of what he was about to say next.

“And yes, I thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” he looked at Snow, acknowledging him.  “But…I’ve decided I don’t want to be a pirate.”  Shouts and exclamations of soap opera proportions from the crew abounded as he uttered words many of them had never heard before.  Snow eyed him narrowly.

“Well, Peeta, that is certainly unexpected.”  

Peeta’s eyes lit up in anger.

“Unexpected?  How can it be unexpected?  You murdered my family!  Made me an orphan!  Taught me to plunder and pillage-”

“Ah,” Snow held up a finger. “But I also taught you the value of honor and duty.”

“You did,” Peeta conceded. “But now I must find my own way.  There’s a longing inside of me, that there’s more to life than just this.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about, well….girls.”  His shipmates groaned in unison again, and he vaguely thought they sounded rehearsed, practiced even.  Like this entire scene was staged.  

He studied them thoughtfully…then heard a squeal in his ear, and suddenly found himself wrapped up in the arms of Effie, all candy pink hair, bustled purple gown and pursed fuchsia lips.

“Oh, Peeta, I’ve waited so long to hear those words!” She swooned, leaning towards his lips with hers.  Snow promptly pulled her away, rolling his eyes.

“Get a hold of yourself Effie.  He’s not speaking of you.  He’s speaking of….young blood.  Bright eyes, luscious lips, virgin breasts…”

“Wait, what?!” Peeta exclaimed, blushing.  “I don’t know _what_ I’m speaking of!  I just know…that there’s more than this.”  He stared off into the distance then turned back to Snow eagerly.  “And I want to explore it.  Travel the vast plains and valleys until I reach that spot I know I’m meant to reach.”  Snow raised an eyebrow at his choice of words, while Effie continued to mumble begrudgingly beside him.

“Fine, Peeta, you are free to go.  Turn your back on your life of piracy! I’m done with you!”  Snow stalked off, but winked slyly at the two closest deck hands, who promptly surrounded Peeta, slapping him on the back and offering their best wishes, disorienting him by twisting him this way and that.  Crane snuck up behind him, stealthily removing the sharp, gilded sword that was sheathed permanently at Peeta’s hip.  Peeta stumbled around the deck, being passed from man to man, until he found himself face to face with Snow again.

“Now, Peeta, call me sentimental….but I’ve decided to let you be the captain of your own ship as a farewell.”  He grinned, until his gaze followed Snow’s outstretched arm – to the small, ramshackle dinghy tethered to the end of the ship.  In a show of fiery temperament, he reached for his sword – only to find its piercing point pressed against his throat, instead of waiting by his side.  Crane smirked at him, as the crew cheered, and directed Peeta to the gangplank.

“It’s time to walk the plank, fair Peeta!” Snow called theatrically, fists planted on his hips, broad chest thrust forward.  Peeta glanced back towards the men he had called friends, called family, for so many years.  And without a second thought, dove gracefully into the blue depths below.

********

Katniss watched the girls play on the beach, their giggles and laughs triumphant over the sounds of the water lapping onto the shore, the call of seagulls, and the faint cries of fisherman in the distance.  Her cotton white dress – highly inappropriate, but suited to her requirements of being able to move freely on the beaches and over the cliffs – hung casually off her shoulders and fluttered behind her in the breeze as she studied them.

It was ridiculous, really.  She figured they would have grown out of this by now. 

Her sisters were old enough and smart enough (well, mostly), to realise that frolicking on the beach in their swimwear was utterly ridiculous.  Not to mention the fact that they liked to _sing_ while they did so.  She was all for singing, really, and happy to if the occasion called for it.  But not while prancing around in her bathing suit, dipping her toes into the water, then running away squealing.  She’d never consider doing something like that.

She often wondered how she ended up in this family.

She eyed Prim, her youngest sister, and watched how she giggled and laughed as Johanna twirled a parasol in her face, flicking her with water.  Madge and Annie stood at the edge of the shore, performing a dance that included a lot of twirling on their tiptoes, arms waving around their head.

And with that little dance routine, she’d had enough.

She picked herself up, brushing the fine grains of sand off her skirt, and walked up the beach, away from the frivolity, away from the noise.  She headed around the cliffs, where she knew she’d be left alone, where no one would bother her.

She’d always felt more than content with her life.  Living where they did – on the beautiful shores of District 4 – had always made her feel like she would never want for anything.  She had her sisters – regardless of the fact that their playfulness regularly grated on her nerves – and their father who, when not fulfilling his role of Major General in the districts’ Navy, doted on them all in his own weird and wonderful way.  

But lately, she’d been missing something.  She wasn’t sure what exactly.  Excitement,  adventure….and maybe someone to share it with.  Although she wouldn’t admit that to anyone in a million years.  It was a ridiculous notion for a forward thinking woman like her.  She’d never needed a man in her life, had never thought she would.  But maybe, just maybe, she did.

She kicked at the sand, and let her mind wander, humming to herself.

********

Peeta had drifted at sea for hours on the little rowboat, contemplating the new life he had waiting for him.  He wasn’t much of a sailor – unfortunately 20 years at sea had not given him that gift – but he knew he was heading toward land, though unsure as to his actual destination.  All he knew was that something was calling to him, and it sounded like-

GIRLS!

Peeta stumbled to his feet and grasped at the telescope he had resting on the bottom of the boat, spying through it towards the shore from where the giggles carried over the waters to him.  His eyes bugged at the sight before him.  A group of them – in practically underwear no less – danced around on the beach.  

So _this_ is what he’d been missing all these years at sea! 

Well, he wasn’t going to wait one minute longer.  He dove swiftly into the ocean, swimming faster than he ever had in his haste to reach the women on the shore.

They, however, were not as keen to see him as he pulled himself to the waters’ edge.  They squealed, running every which way, dramatically exclaiming “A pirate!” at every opportunity before they all huddled for safety inside a colourful beach shack.

“NO!” He called emphatically.  “I’m not a pirate!” He raised his arm, then lifted his legs one at a time in the girls’ direction to show his unfettered golden skin.  “See, no tattoos!” He then remembered the sailing ship gracing the space between his shoulder blades.  “Well, almost no tattoos.  But I swear I’m not a pirate!  Not anymore, anyway….” He trailed off despondently as they continued to peer out at him from the doorway.  He was both confused and a little flattered as they eyed him up and down, appreciative murmurs falling from their lips.  But it didn’t seem like they were going to leave the confines of the shack, so he turned, sadly walking away down the beach.

It was strange, feeling the sand between his toes.  He hadn’t been on land for 20 years, and the stillness of it was a shock to the system.  No undulating waves rocking him, no gentle shift of the ground beneath his feet.

But it felt right to him, more right than it had ever felt being tied to that ship.  Yes, he couldn’t deny he had enjoyed the life of a pirate, had enjoyed the camaraderie between the men, and all that Snow had taught him.  But those pirates had taken more from him than they’d ever given, and for that, he was honor-bound to bring about their downfall.

A faint humming in the distance, the sweetest sound he’d ever heard, broke him from his reverie, and he looked up towards it.

And he saw her.  Thoughts swirled in his head.

_Can I believe what I am seeing, what I am feeling?  Something so rare - she makes my heart stop._

He rolled his eyes at his thoughts, embarrassed, but shook it aside because it was true.  The girl before him was beautiful.  And she _did_ make his heart stop.

Long chocolate brown hair, so dark it was almost black, twisted up in a braid. A slim white dress that fell off her shoulders and fell open seductively at the side of her thigh. Long legs that he wanted….well, he wasn’t too sure what he wanted.  But Peeta knew one thing.

She was his.

********

Her steps faltered, and she studied him from afar. Blond, sun kissed hair, curls falling playfully over his forehead. A light yellow shirt - open to the waist more for appearance than function – that billowed in the breeze.  Broad shoulders, defined biceps, and droplets of water that shone like diamonds on the toned torso that tapered down to slim hips. And those legs, encased in breeches that hugged him in all the right places.

She was in love.

She didn’t even care if it was the most ridiculous thought she’d ever had.

Katniss couldn’t believe what she was feeling.  From the minute he looked at her, she knew she would give him everything.

They walked towards each other, slow measured steps drawing out their anticipation.  A smile crossed his lips, while a faint scowl lingered on hers.  It didn’t matter to him – she was beautiful regardless.

They stopped as they finally met, staring into the others’ eyes – brilliant blue to striking silver.  Peeta reached a hand up, curving it around her cheek and up into her hair, twisting his fingers in the strands that were begging to be set free.  He rested his other hand gently under her chin and drew her face to his.  He gently settled his lips on hers, drawing her bottom lip in between his teeth and sucking on it gently.  It spurred her into action, her arms drawing around his neck, pulling his body to hers, and responding to his advances.  Slow, delicious kisses warmed them both from the inside out.

Eventually Peeta slowly drew away, pressing feather light kisses on her lips until her eyes opened.  He smiled at her, watching as her own mirroring grin crossed hers.

“Hi,” he said softly, gently tugging on her braid

“Hi,” she replied.

“How are you?”

“Good.  How are you?”

“Good.”  They smiled again, both reaching down and linking hands.

“Do you live around here?” Katniss asked.  He didn’t look familiar to her at all. 

“I didn’t live until now,” he replied wistfully, staring at her adoringly.  Katniss almost snorted at his words, but managed to hold it in, so as to not spoil the moment.

“But where are you from?” She reworded her question.  “You’re not from District 4.” 

“No.” He shook his head.  “I am an orphan, and was saved by Snow, who raised me and kept me as his apprentice.  It is on his pirate ship, The Capitol, that I have spent the last 20 years of my life, sailing the seas of Panem.  Alas, I was tossed aside by my shipmates only today, and set adrift at sea.”

 “You poor thing!” Katniss said softly.  Then her eyes widened, excitement lacing her voice as she spoke.  “But pirates! You mean like walking the plank?  Buried treasure? Hack, slash, off with his head, and the Jolly Richard and everything?”

“Roger,” Peeta replied.  

She gripped his hands, clutching them to her.  “Oh, Roger, I love it!”

He shook his head, trying to point to his chest.  “No, it’s Peeta, without an R.”

Katniss nodded distractedly.  “Katniss, also without an R.  God, we already have so much in common!”  They shared a look, and she could see he was as amazed as she was that they had found each other.  He smiled at her, and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture, taking a deep breath before speaking. 

"So, Katniss, I just met you. And this is crazy. But I think I love you. So marry me, maybe?" She narrowed her eyes at him - she had a feeling she'd heard words similar to these somewhere before- but smiled when she saw the sincerity on his face.

"Well. I guess I never planned on getting married. Didn't want to, didn't feel the need to. But saying no defeats the whole purpose of this, and I guess I love you too. So yes I will....but oh! We'll have to ask my fathers’ permission before we can. He's a little…strange with these kinds of things." Peeta nodded happily, and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, pulling her in for another kiss. His lips on hers were insistent, demanding, and every thought promptly left her mind.  Nothing mattered right now other than the feeling of absolute completeness that simply being in Peeta’s presence had brought her.

********

Their kisses were endless; as though they were making up for time they had never even known they were wasting.  They stopped only to share details of their lives, just to end up wrapped in each other’s arms again.

A slight moan left Peeta’s lips as Katniss finally dragged herself away from him.  "C'mon, Peeta, there's no wasting time.  We should go and see my father now."  He shook his head.

"Nuh-huh. We have all the time in the world," he replied, drawing her in again.  He pulled her even closer and tighter to him than he had before, his hands resting on the small of her back, their bodies aligning, curve to angle, hard to – 

_Huh._

_Maybe THAT was the spot he’d been referring to earlier._

He shook his head as he lowered his mouth, his lips slanting softly but insistently over hers, moving his hands so they gripped her hips tightly.  Her hands curled into his hair, tugging at the strands at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer and closer to her.  But a faint ringing in Peeta's ears alerted him to the fact that all was not well. He tore his lips from Katniss', his breath unsteady, ears trained for the sound that was as familiar as his own voice.

It was the damned bell on the pirate ship.  Snow and the crew were docking.  His eyes widened and he clenched her hands in his tightly.

 “Oh no, Katniss!  We must go!  The pirates are coming ashore.  And if those women-”

“My sisters,” she interjected.  

“Your sisters are still there….their very lives – or worse, their virtue – is at stake!”  Katniss rolled her eyes.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.”

"I'm not," he replied emphatically, beginning to drag her back down the beach. "You've never seen the likes of these pirates. They like to play games and plunder and steal and sink other ships! And they've been at sea for 20 years, warring with other pirates all this time. They're hungry, Katniss, hungry for treasure, and jewels and...women." Katniss picked up her pace, now understanding the dire circumstances. 

"Then we must save them, and after that, go and speak to my father about this marriage business."  They ran around the corner of the final cliff-face, to see the pirates already stumbling ashore, and her sisters running and screaming for their lives.

“I’m going to confront Snow,” Peeta told her, releasing her hand.

“I’m going to climb around the back of the cliffs and get to the top before they do,” Katniss replied.  She turned, running away back the way they came.  He only hoped she knew what she was doing.  

Peeta watched as Snow laughed and clapped as his men rounded up the young women, tipping them over their shoulders and beginning the long climb up the wooden staircase that led to the top of the cliffs.  Their raucous singing did nothing to ease the tension coiling in Peeta’s belly.  Before he could stop himself, he stalked over to Snow, fists at the ready.

“Snow, I will not allow you to harm these women!  You cannot – and will not – reap and pillage them as you please!”  Out of habit, he went to slide his sword from its shaft, only to groan in frustration when he remembered it was no longer there.  Snow laughed, feet planted, hands firmly on his hips, his white hair blowing gently in the breeze.

“Ah, Peeta, you remember, you are no longer part of our crew.  There is nothing you can do to stop us.”  He casually pushed a hand into Peeta’s chest, causing him to fall over backwards into the sand.  Snow’s maniacal laughter drifted back to him as he walked away, following his men up the cliff stairs.  Peeta thumped the ground angrily, and then pulled himself to his feet to chase after Snow.

He nimbly climbed up the wooden steps, quickly reaching the peak a mere moments behind Snow and Crane.  His jaw dropped as he saw the large wood and glass mansion that appeared before him – this could only be Katniss’ family home.  Peeta watched as Katniss’ sisters ran around the grassy slope of land that led to it, alternately squealing and fluttering their eyelashes ( _what?!,_ he thought incredulously) at the pirates who had commandeered them. Snow and Crane laughed at the sight, until Peeta stood in front of them, crossing his arms across his broad chest defiantly.  Crane only rolled his eyes, grabbed Peeta’s arms and twisted them behind his back, keeping him locked in place.  Peeta struggled against them to no avail.

“Peeta, Peeta, I already told you.  Our decision is made – we’ll have our way,” Snow grinned.  It was a strange combination, that grin, both charming and sinister all at once. “These lovely ladies have no chance against us.  Are your loins so hot you mean to keep all of them and whatever family treasures they have to yourself, Peeta?  I don’t think so.  So do you dare to disturb our dalliance?”

“No – but I do!” A voice rang out, clear as a bell.  Peeta looked over in horror as Katniss stood defiantly in the middle of the group of carousing pirates and her sisters, a sword clutched in her hand.  Snow’s eyes lit up at the sight of her.

“Ahhh, a girl with a bit of fire in her!”  He turned, and winked at Peeta.  “Saved the best for last, did we?  My my.”  He advanced on Katniss, reaching forward with his own sword, a glint in his eye.  “And who are you to challenge me?  To try and best me at my own game?”

“I am Katniss.  And I demand you let my sisters and Peeta go!”  She raised her sword, inching forward as Snow watched her, bemused.  He flicked his wrist, and their swords clashed against each other.  They parried, back and forth, back and forth, as those around them watched with rapt enthusiasm.  Innuendos were called.   Bets were placed.  

At the final moment, Katniss stumbled, falling heavily onto her back.  Snow stood over her, the point of his sword at her throat.

“Will you stop me now, Katniss?” Snow crooned.  She raised her eyebrow haughtily.

“I may not be able to – but my father certainly can!”

“And who might he be?”

“He’s a Major General!” Katniss and her sisters called in perfect synchronisation.

“Not a Major General!” The pirates groaned aloud as a group.

“Yes, a Major General!” A loud voice called from behind them.  There, tumbler in hand, blue jacket haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, stood Katniss’ father.  Snow, being distracted by the dishevelled man who had just announced he was a damned Major General of all things, moved his sword away from Katniss’ neck.  She quickly scrambled to her feet, rushing to her fathers’ side.  

“These pirates are trying to take advantage of us, and have set foot on land for the first time in 20 years.  They’re likely to pillage all of District 4!  You must demand they set us free and leave at once.”  The Major General eyed the pirates beadily, as Peeta continued to struggle against the constraints of Crane’s arms.

“Who’s the kid?  The one at the back, being held by the guy with the weird beard?”

“Oh, that’s Peeta.  He was a pirate, but he’s not anymore, and we’re in love, and we want to get married!”  He looked at her, confused.  Surely he wasn’t _that_ drunk.

“Katniss, you never want to get married.” 

She rolled her eyes.  “I know!  But now that I’ve met Peeta, I do!  Please, demand they leave.  You have jurisdiction over this-” 

Snow let out a loud groan. “Oh, for crying out loud, never mind.  This is more trouble than it’s worth.  We’ll go, we’ll go.  Now that we’ve been reminded of the…riches that can be found ashore, there are other districts we can go and have some fun with.”  With a wave of his arm, he turned and began the long descent back down the cliff towards The Capitol.  Crane dropped Peeta’s arms, pushed him away and turned to follow Snow back down the steps.  The Pirates left en masse after them, singing heartily about being marauders with swords.

Peeta found his way over to Katniss and her father, rubbing his wrists from where Crane had gripped tightly.  He watched as she breathed a sigh of relief and instructed her sisters to move back inside.  They willingly obliged, although he was horrified to hear words like _‘cute’_ and ‘ _he could shiver my timbers_ ’ as they walked away.  And from the look on Katniss’ face, so was she.  She turned to her father.

“Thank god they’ve gone!  Now, onto the matter of Peeta and me-”

“Is he rich?” Her father interjected.

“What?”

“Is he rich?” The Major General repeated.  “Is he a rich pirate, a victor of some sort?”  

Peeta shook his head.  “I am no longer a pirate, sir.  I come to Katniss a humble man, with nothing but my love to give her.”  

The Major General snorted.  “That won’t get you very far, kid.  I know those pirates, though I doubt they realise I know them.  They are the pirates that stole most of our family’s fortune many years ago, items from the Dark Days, that had been passed down from generation to generation.  The treasure was en route from District 12, and the loss of that left us in a dire state, despite the mansion.  I need to make sure we’re kept in booze – I mean, to ensure our family continues to prosper.  And if you can’t offer anything like that to Katniss…..”  He trailed off, and both Katniss and Peeta looked at each other despondently.  Peeta turned his gaze away, and in that moment, he noticed The Capitol, out beyond the cliffs.  Anchored.  With seemingly no intentions of moving on.

“Dammit!” He swore.  Katniss glanced at him in surprise, and he gestured out to sea.  “Snow, and his crew.  They’ve anchored out just beyond the cliffs.  They have no intention of leaving!”  Instead of the fear he almost expected, Katniss’ eyes lit up, and she turned to her father.

“If the pirates are intent on not leaving……..What if Peeta was to steal our family treasure back from them while they are here?  Would you approve of us marrying if he returned our possessions?”  The Major General eyed Peeta, took another sip from his tumbler, then shrugged.  

“Why not?”  

A grin spread across Peeta’s face, and he pulled Katniss close, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head atop hers.

“Then I will steal your family treasure back!  We will go at midnight.”  Peeta announced determinedly.  Their love would not be denied.

********

They crept down to the shore, as moonlight spilled across the water.  The moon was high and full, a slight breeze tickling the tendrils of hair that had loosened from Katniss’ braid.  She glanced at Peeta, then looked down at herself and regarded her attire.  She’d never undressed before a man before, and she felt awkward, a little uncomfortable.  But he was quick to remove his shirt, with no preamble and seemingly oblivious to her discomfort.  She shrugged, and pulled the dress over her head, letting it fall to the sand at her feet.  Clad in only her undergarments, she suddenly felt his eyes on her.  Katniss looked up to see his mouth agape and eyes wide.

“What?” She asked indignantly, fighting the urge to cover herself with her arms.

“I, uh….I’ve just never seen a woman like you before,” he stuttered, a blush creeping across his face.

“And you won’t see any others,” she reminded him firmly.  “Now, let’s go.”  Peeta stood and stripped off his breeches, and this time it was Katniss’ turn to stare.  She was glad he’d turned away, because strong calves led to muscled thighs that led to a damn fine ass.  All he wore was the briefest of shorts – she’d never seen anything like them before.  She cleared her throat, determined not to make a mention of it – she certainly couldn’t afford to get any more distracted - and grasped his hand as he held it out to her.  He grinned, and then led her towards the water.

It didn’t take long before they were pulling themselves over the ledge of the Capitol, and onto the main deck.  They slid into shadows, hiding from the crew who were haphazardly spread across every available surface, their snores mingling together in a cacophony of sounds.

“Ok, where do we look on this ship for the treasure?”  She whispered.  

He shook his head.  “It’s not here.  It fell overboard during a battle at sea against a pirate from District 2, Cato.”

“Well, how the hell are we supposed to get it?!” she hissed angrily, stamping her foot and almost catching his toe. “We need to do this, Peeta!”  He stood, gripping her gently by the forearms.

“It’s ok – he has a map.  If we can get that, we’ll find your family’s possessions.”

“Where is the map then?”

“Tattooed on his back.”  She stared at him.

“I swear you just said ‘tattooed on his back’.”

“I did.”

“What. The.  Hell. Peeta.” She said through clenched teeth.  He held up his hands in mock surrender.

“Look, all we have to do is copy the map, and we’re good to go.  It’s not like I’m planning to skin him or anything.”  Katniss glared at him, then pursed her lips as an idea came to her.  She wasn’t sure how successful she would be – her track record of 0 meant the odds weren’t in her favor – but it was the only thing she could think of.  She nodded her head resolutely, and gripped Peeta’s arm.

“Ok, try and find some paper and a pencil, and meet me on the next deck down.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked, confused.  She reached up, planted a quick kiss on his cheek, and grinned.

“You’ll see,” she told him, and whirled down the stairs to the deck below.

********

Katniss crept down the hall, flickering candles in small copper lanterns lighting her way.  She’d managed to pilfer a shirt from some empty living quarters and covered her undergarments, its billowing sleeves falling to her wrists and its length falling mid-thigh.  She’d grabbed a piece of rope that lay, forgotten, on the floor and cinched it at her waist.  All in all, she thought she fit the part.

A little nymphette.

_Oh god.  What was she doing?!_

She continued down, towards the end of the hall and peered through the corner of the glass panel of the door.  Inside she could see Snow sprawled in a hard-backed couch, his sword in one hand, a glass of deep burgundy wine in the other.  His room was huge, magnificently appointed with eye-catching artwork, exquisite statuary and an abundance of – all things – blood red roses.  How on earth he had them on this ship, considering it never docked, was beyond her.  She took a half step back, and winced as the wooden plank beneath her heel groaned.

“Effie, is that you?!  No?  Reveal  yourself, whoever you are!” She heard Snow call loudly, and she sighed.  It was now or never.  

She slowly pushed open the door, flattening her body against it as it swung open.  Snow’s eyes widened as he realised who it was.

“You!” He exclaimed.  She stepped a little closer, eyeing off the gilded sword in his hand.

“I’ve never seen such an impressive weapon before,” she said, hoping a compliment would set them off in the right direction.  He glanced down, and looked back up at her slyly.

“You have no idea how hard it is to find a good sheath for it,” he replied.  He rose from his seat, and wagged a finger playfully at her.  “What are you doing here?  You tried to kill me today.”  

She shrugged, and sidled further into the room, glancing at the windows that led to the side deck, hoping Peeta was out there.  She made her way over to the bed, where she casually rested a hand against the beam of the four-poster.

“Well…some people send flowers,” she said lightly, trailing a hand across one of the blood red roses spearing out of a crystal vase on the bedside table.  “When I like a guy?  I try to kill them.”   Snow raised an eyebrow, studying her, before breaking out into a large smile.  Katniss had to stop herself from shivering.  His smile managed to be smarmy, cocky and sinister all at the same time.  He crooked a finger at her.

“Come here,” he told her.  She was hesitant to go to him, but knew that everything she was doing was for a reason.  She took one step forward, then another, before he reached out, pulling her to him and clutching her tightly.

_Urgh, he felt nothing like Peeta._

“Katniss, do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to be this close to a woman?”

“Uh, 20 years?”  she asked.

He laughed.  “Oh, the Girl on Fire has a sense of humour as well!”  She rolled her eyes.

“Hardly.  It’s the simple truth.”  She muttered.  She caught a glimpse of Peeta over Snow’s shoulder, peering around the corner of the window, paper and pen in hand.  She pulled back from Snow’s embrace, letting what she hoped was an alluring smile cross her face.  

“What say we get this started with you taking your shirt off?” She asked.  

“Eager, are we?”  He retorted.  “I believe - ladies first.”  She wrinkled her nose, trying to keep an eye on Peeta outside.  He was almost pacing in frustration.

“Ah…..it’s warm in here!” She suddenly said.  “Perhaps we should open the windows, get some fresh air?”  Snow eyed her curiously, but moved over to them, opening them one by one.  He reached the final one, the closest to Peeta, and Katniss gasped out loud at the last moment, drawing Snow away from the windows and back towards her.

“My, my, we _are_ excited!” Snow said.  He whipped his shirt off, threw it aside, and clutched at her arms, drawing her close.  Thoughts ran frantically through her head as she figured what she could do to both get Snow off of her before she choked on his cloying scent, and get him into a position where Peeta could sketch the image on his back.

“Oh, wait!  Before we do anything, you must do something for me.  It really….it really turns me on,” she managed to spit out.  

He seemed oblivious to her distaste as he leaned forward to hear the words she whispered in his ear.  Snow raised his eyebrow in surprise, and then obvious interest lit his eyes.  He let go of her arms, and went to stand in front of the windows, rolling his shoulders.  

Katniss was vaguely surprised that, for an old guy, he was pretty fit.

He then turned sharply to the side, flexing his arms and popping his muscles as he turned this way and that.  He looked slightly ridiculous as he moved, contorting his body into poses that were supposed to be a turn on for Katniss.

It wasn’t doing a thing for her, but she had to at least pretend.  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  She sat down on the wooden chest at the end of the bed and opened her eyes wide, as if she was looking at something incredible, and prepared to give the performance of her life.

“Oh!  Oh!  Yes, yes, yes!  That’s perfect!  Oh, so hot!” she called.  She saw Peeta’s head peering around the window ledge, frantically scribbling on his paper.  He waved his wand to the left, indicating that Snow had to change angles.  “Oh, yes, oh this is so good!  To the left, just a little to – oh yes!”   Snow switched angles, resting a fist on his hip and holding the other hand aloft.  She could see the exertion it was causing him. His breathing was getting heavy and sweat was breaking out on his upper lip.  

“Oh, you’re really doing it for me right now.  It’s just incredible!  Oh yes!” She continued, hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt.  Peeta finally nodded, gave her the thumbs up, and slunk away from the window.  She rose, taking the sash from the robe laid across the bed, and moved towards Snow.  He watched her, excitement in his eyes, as she stepped close and reached up to tie the sash around his eyes.

“Games, Katniss?  How……arousing.”  He turned, allowing her to tie it at the back of his head.

“Now you need to find me,” she whispered.  She quickly blew out each candle in the room until they were bathed only in moonlight.  She took one last glance back at him as he slowly made his way around the room, hands blindly reaching for her, before she slipped from the room and back to Peeta.  

She could hear Snow continuing to call her name softly, until a soft thud and a giggle ended his murmurings.

Peeta met her on deck, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her fiercely.

“You did so well!  But it made my skin crawl seeing his hands on you,” he muttered, holding her close.  She shuddered.

“Me too.  Oh, Peeta, it was awful.  Having to put on a show for him, pretending to be something I’m not…”

“Well, you don’t have to be,” he said firmly.  “We don’t have to be a piece in their pirate games any longer.  We can sneak away from here, go retrieve the treasure, and restore honor and wealth to your family name.  We never have to see-”

“Traitors!  Traitors on deck!”  A sharp cry suddenly crowed.  They both looked up in horror as the obligatory pirate parrot sat on the wheel of the ship, squawking loudly.  Moans and groans began to sound as the crew stirred at the noise, and Katniss and Peeta stumbled backwards towards the edge of the deck.  They reached it just before the first seaman climbed to his feet, and they both dove into the water, swimming back towards land as fast as they could.  They dragged themselves out of the water, onto the sand, and glanced back in time to see the ship slowly sink below the surface.

“Ah, what?” Katniss muttered, confused.

“I put some holes in the ship,” Peeta replied simply, shrugging his shoulders.  “It’s my aim to end their reign over the seas of Panem, and if bringing down the Capitol is a part of that, then so be it.”  Katniss threw her arms around him, pressing her lips to his and kissing him enthusiastically.

“You’re a smart man, Peeta.  Now let’s head home, get my fathers’ sailboat and head out at first light.  We have a treasure to retrieve.”

********

It didn’t take nearly as long as they expected it to.  The X on the map was only two coves away, and Katniss was barely able to sing a single song to herself before Peeta was resurfacing from the depths of the water below, a small circle of gold clutched in his hand.  Katniss leaned over the edge, taking it from him, and studied it carefully.

“Do you know what it is?” he asked her.  “It was the first thing I saw when I opened the chest down there – which is full of gold and jewels, mind you.”  She nodded, and held it up to the light, its golden surface shining in the morning sun.

“It’s a Mockingjay pin.”

“What’s that?”  She smiled down at him happily.

“It’s freedom, Peeta.  For all of us.”  He pulled himself up onto the small sailboat, pulled his breeches back on over his underwear and slumped on his back, slightly exerted from his expedition.  He really couldn’t believe how quickly they’d found it, and they were that much closer to being together.  More than anything, though, he couldn’t believe the turn his life had taken.  Before yesterday, he didn’t even know Katniss.

Today, she was all he wanted.

He watched as she continued to stare at the pin, a small smile playing across her lips.  He reached out, playing with the ends of her braid, twisting the hair around his fingers.  She looked down at him, quickly attached the pin to her shirt collar, and lay down so she was beside him, her head resting on his chest.  He pulled her into him tightly, hooking his leg around hers.

“We should head back,” she said softly.  He squeezed her arm.

“Soon enough.  We should enjoy a little time to ourselves without your sisters and your father around.”

“True.”  He slid down so that they were face to face, and raised her lips to his with a tip of her chin.  They were soft, malleable, and tasted of salt and sand.

He was sure he would never tire of that taste.

She whimpered a little, and he deepened the kiss, resting a hand on her hip.  She shifted closer, the only thing separating them from each other the thin clothing they wore.  Her breasts flattened against his bare chest, and he swore to the depths of his soul that he’d never felt anything better.  His fingers slowly slid up her waist and splayed across her ribs, gripping so hard he knew he’d likely leave bruises on her skin.  He drew her bottom lip into his mouth, biting it gently, then soothing it with his tongue.  He felt her shiver, and slide a hand down his back, pausing at the base of his spine before resting it hesitantly on his ass.  He smiled to himself.

Despite her bravado in front of Snow, in front of her father, in front of her sisters even, she was still sweet.  Unsure of herself.

Pure.

And the feeling of lust that coursed through him and settled low in his body caused him to pull away, breathing heavily.  

Katniss raised her head, looking down at him, surprised.

“Peeta, is everything ok?”

“Everything is ok,” he laughed, blowing out a breath.  “Probably more than ok.  But I can’t afford to put your father off-side before he gets this treasure back, so I need to stop myself before I can’t.”

“But I don’t-” She started, then absently glanced down at his breeches.  She blushed as she realised what he was saying, then raised her eyes to his slyly.

“Well.  Let’s just say I’m pretty happy with your sword down there.”  He could barely contain the laugh that fell from his lips as he slowly rose to his feet.  He reached a hand down to help her up, and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

“I’d say it’s time to get that treasure to your father.”

********

They dragged the large chest into the parlour, heaving it onto the table in front of her father.  He glanced up at the wooden chest, brass buckles turned green by the salt and sea water, and gave a self-satisfied grin.

“Well, well, the kid did it.”  He rose from his seat beside the unused fireplace, slapping Peeta heartily on the back.

“ _We_ did it,” Peeta clarified, indicating towards Katniss.  “But we have some bad news.”  

“Like what?”

“Well, we sunk the pirates’ ship last night.  Which means they’ll probably be coming for us,” Katniss spoke up.  The Major General grunted, picked up the tumbler sitting on the table and slugged down the amber liquid it held.

“Just had to be a little damn rebellious, didn’t you?” He sighed.  “Well, I don’t have time to raise an army to defeat them when they do.  Do I look like I’m in the best shape for that kind of thing?”

“It’s ok.  Peeta can lead us into battle,” Katniss said.  Peeta’s mouth dropped open.

“Peeta can do what?”

“Peeta, you know how all the pirates work.  You’re our own inside man.  And I assume you can fight.”  He looked from Katniss, to her father and back again, before a smile spread across his face.

“You’re right.  I said I was determined to make them pay for all they’ve done.  So yes.  I will help you fight, to keep the pirates at bay.”  Katniss flung her arms around him, while her father looked on bemused.

“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into her,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anything else.  He watched as Peeta and Katniss excitedly discussed strategy, and moved to the buffet for another drink.  He was pretty sure he was going to need it.

It took an hour of discussions, planning their defence and a weird ritual where the Major General presented Peeta with a new sword, but he eventually left Katniss with her father, and went to leave for the local Peacekeeper barracks.  He moved outside to the stable, where a lone horse was tethered.  He eyed it nervously – he’d spent his life at sea, he’d never been this close to a horse in his life and really had no idea how to ride.  He hesitantly took a step towards it, but halted as he heard the click at his ear.  He closed his eyes.

Only one man he knew had a pistol like that.

He turned to look into the face of Snow, and gripped the hilt of his new sword tightly.

“Now, now, Peeta,” Snow tisked, batting the sword aside with the length of the pistol.  “You sunk my ship.  That wasn’t very nice of you to let her go down like that.” 

“It wasn’t very nice what the crew were doing to Katniss’ sisters yesterday.”  Snow shrugged, brushing the comment aside, and flicked his pistol to the right, indicating for Peeta to move in that direction.  He directed Peeta away from the stables and back inside to a huge, open floor two-story library.  Shelf upon shelf of books lined the upper floor, while a wide balustrade encircled the wide open space in the centre that allowed a view of the study nooks below.  A large wooden chandelier hung from the ceiling, adding an air of old-school romanticism to the room. He stopped, so that they both stood almost directly below the chandelier. “Peeta, I’m not here to fight with you.  I just have some news.”  Peeta raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not sure what you have to say that I would remotely be interested in.”

“I believe it impacts rather heavily on this new little life you’re setting up for yourself.”  Peeta simply continued to stare at him, uninterested.  “Effie!  Open it up!”  Peeta looked up surprise to see Effie on the upper level of the library, doing a double take as he took in her sherbet colored hair, which he assumed was meant to compliment the orange concoction she’d dressed herself in. 

It didn’t.

“Hello Peeta,” she greeted with a flutter of lashes and pucker of lips.  With an air of importance, she pulled on a large white ribbon that hung from the balustrade in front of her, and a long roll of aged parchment unfurled, it’s bottom edge hitting the ground beside them.

“Your apprenticeship papers, Peeta.” Snow announced.  

“It’s a lot bigger than the last time I saw it.”  

“The magic of piracy, Peeta.  Now, I think you should read it.”  Peeta shrugged.

“So?  I’ve seen them before.  It says I’m stuck with you, on The Capitol, until my 21st year.”

“AH!” Snow held a finger aloft, then pointed to writing at the very bottom of the parchment, barely legible.  “It clearly states here that you are to be my apprentice until your 21st birthday.”

“Yes, that’s right.  And we’re done.”

“No, we’re not.  When is your birthday, Peeta?”

“My birthday?  The 29th February.”

“Yes, the 29th February.  You, dear boy, were born on a leap year.  Which means, in actual fact, you haven’t had anywhere near close to 21 birthdays.”  Peeta’s jaw dropped.

“You can’t be serious.  This is the most ridiculous clause I’ve ever heard of.”

“Tell me about it.  Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.  But it’s there, so I’m going to go with it.  You took my ship from me.  Now by making you return to my crew, I’ll take something from you.  Although why you’d bother with her, I’ll never know.  She seems very…..free with her affections.” Snow winked, and Peeta looked at him, confused.  He heard Effie choke a little, but ignored it.  

“So you mean to tell me that I have to re-join you, and not be with Katniss?”

“That’s right.  You’re bound to my crew by this deed, whether you like it or not.”  Peeta sighed, resigned to his fate.

“You know honor and duty are the most important things to me.  So…yes.  I will keep my word.  And rejoin your crew.  Your crew with no boat.”  Snow brushed this aside with a wave of his arm.

“Oh, Peeta, not to worry about that.  We’ll have no problem finding a replacement for The Capitol.  In the meantime, I expect to see you down at the cliffs with the rest of the crew by the end of the afternoon.”  

“But – but I need time to say goodbye to Katniss!”

“You have til this afternoon,” Snow said firmly.  “Then we will return here, and raze the mansion to the ground.” Peeta shook his head, as if he didn’t understand.

“What?!  Why would you do that?  You wanted me, for destroying the Capitol.  You don’t need to do anything to Katniss’ family.”  Snow smiled, and moved over to the circular staircase that led to the second level.  He reached Effie, holding his arm out for her to hold onto.  She smiled happily at the manners he expressed, and looped her arm through his, resting her hand delicately on his forearm.  

“It really has nothing to do with them, Peeta.  I have eyes and ears everywhere.  I know you recovered the missing treasure.  It’s just….mine to take.  Again.  So I will.  _We_ will.  Destroying their home?  Well, we’re just after a little fun really.  You can’t begrudge us of that.”  Snow led Effie away, but turned just before they exited the library.  “Oh, and Peeta?”

“Yes?”

“I’d definitely get that sword of yours attended to.  You wouldn’t want it to get rusty out at sea.”  He laughed, snarky and grating, and escorted Effie out of the room.

********

Peeta sighed despondently as he sat beside the lake he’d accidentally stumbled across on Katniss’ family property.  Weeping willows teased the surface of the murky water and an abundance of dandelions grew beside the waters’ edge.  He picked one, rolling it between his fingertips, trying to come to terms with what he’d just agreed to do.  He wasn’t sure Katniss would understand – he couldn’t break words that he’d given before they’d met and that his long standing belief in duty and honor was going to come between them.

But he knew that no matter what he said to her, what she said to him, he wouldn’t be able to live without her.  He’d realised in the last few days that she was all he was living for.

He heard a rustle in the bushes behind him, and half turned, placing a hand on the hilt of his sword in preparation.  He breathed out in relief as he saw it was just Katniss.

“Peeta, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!  I saw the horse was still here - why haven’t you left for the Peacekeepers yet?” She demanded.  She placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently.

“I, uh.  I….”

“What, Peeta?” she snapped.  He tugged on her arm, dragging her down so she sat beside him.

“It’s a long story,” he told her.  “It might take a while.” She crossed her legs in front of her and looked at him expectantly.  He told her, as quickly and emotionlessly, as possible.  Explained his apprenticeship contract, and how his birthday set in place the most ridiculous clause he’d ever heard.  How it meant he would have to return to Snow’s crew, and remain a pirate until he was over 80.  How it meant that they would not be able to be together.  

“But we were meant to get married, Peeta,” she said, unamused.  “You said you loved me.”

“I do!  I do love you!  I want to be with you, I want to stay with you.”

“Always?”  He nodded, grasping her hands in his.

“Always,” he confirmed.

“Then how is love not more important than honor, and duty?  I can’t believe you’re going to let this come between us.”

“I’m sorry, Katniss.  But I am true to my word.”

“What about the word you gave to me?  Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Yes…..but I guess I have to go in the order I gave it.”  She sighed, then reached out for his hand.

“Fine.  I guess I can respect that.  We have til the afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“Good.  Let’s just spend the time together.  Fit as much of a lifetime as we can into a few hours.”

“I like the sound of that.”  He smiled at her sadly, but the warm feeling of her hand in his took precedence over everything else.  He was going to make the most of what little time he had with her.

********

She sat on the grass, laughing at him as he mocked the poses Snow had done the night before.  The only difference, Katniss thought to herself, was that Peeta looked _good_ doing it.  Particularly since she convinced him to take his shirt off.  All he wore was those breeches, and really, she couldn’t get enough of how they looked on him.  She took no shame in staring anymore.  Especially knowing that from tomorrow, she no longer would be able to.

Damned Snow and his stupid clause.  She was going to find a way around it, she had to.  No matter what it took.  She’d bring about anarchy to make sure Peeta didn’t have to return to The Capitol, or whatever Snow would call his new ship.  And now that he'd done this, made Peeta desert her, it was going to be up to her to lead her family and the local Peacekeepers against the pirates. Peeta had already warned her they would be ransacking her home tonight, to retrieve the treasure they so adamantly believed was rightfully theirs.

She'd gone from yearning for adventure to fighting pirates, leading armies and losing the love of her life in 24 hours. 

It was ridiculous.

She shook her head, and went back to studying the lean muscles in Peeta’s stomach as he moved.  She wouldn’t worry about that now.  She just wanted to focus on Peeta, and enjoy the last moments they had together.  Because after this, if she wasn’t able to change things, she was likely to live the rest of her life alone.  

So instead she focused on the way his muscles shifted and rolled under his golden skin with each move he made.  The way his long, elegant fingers flexed, and how she wished they were on her, bruising her skin the way they had earlier that day.  On how strong his shoulders looked.  How his hair fell over his forehead, the way his eyes shone brightly every time he looked at her.  The way the long length of his neck made her want to lick her way up it, nibbling on his jaw, then making her way to – 

_Jeez, she needed to shut this down._

She reached out for his hand, her face now more red from her thoughts than her laughter, and drew him down beside her.

“I think we can safely say that you’re far better at that than Snow is,” she told him, wrapping her hand around his bicep.  _God, he was strong_.  _And fit.  And…_

_Stop it._

“Are you ok?” he asked, his eyes full of confusion.  She nodded, probably a little too enthusiastically.

“Yep.  Yup.  Uh-huh.  All good.”  He looked at her strangely, then shifted closer to her.

“Your face is a little red.”

“Laughter,” she responded immediately.  He nodded, thankfully oblivious to her embarrassment.  He reached over, resting his palm on the back of her neck and drawing her face to his until their foreheads touched.  She could hear the deep breath he took and felt her own heart sink.  “It’s probably time for me to go.”  She curled a hand into his chest, resting it against his heart.

“You can’t,” she whispered.

“I have to.  I have to keep my word.”  He paused, then lowered his voice.  “Come with me.”  She could hear the desperation in each of his words.

“I want to.  I want to come with you.”

“Then do it.”

“You know I can’t.  I’m not a pirate, Peeta.  I belong here, on land, with my family.  And I can’t just ‘become’ one, either.   No, Snow wants us apart.”  She moved her head back so she could look into his eyes.  “But so help me, Peeta, I’m not going to take this lying down.  I will do what it takes to protect my family from all of you tonight.  And if I can find a way to keep you from staying with Snow, I’ll do it.  But if I can’t, and you have to stay with him as part of his crew…..”

“Yes?”

“You’ll be my enemy, Peeta.  We’ll never see eye to eye.  If he ruins my family, _you_ ruin my family.”

“But-”

“No buts, Peeta.  That’s it.  I can love you, but that will be it.”  He stared at her, eyes full of a combination of regret, anger and sorrow.  She felt his hand trail down her braid, down her back, feathery touches that made her want to cry. But she breathed deeply, resolutely, and stood.

“You need to go, Peeta.  It’s time for you to return to your fellow seamen.”  He pulled himself to his feet and reached for her hands, but she tugged them away.  “No more, Peeta.  You made your decision.”

“I love you, Katniss.  I always will.  I’ll come back to you.”  

“If we’re meant to be together, I’ll find a way to keep you from returning to his crew.  Otherwise – goodbye, Peeta.  It was good while it lasted.”  Peeta nodded sadly, turned and began to walk away.  She watched him go, knowing that nothing was going to stop them if they both just believed in love.

But for now, she had a defence to plan, peacekeepers to rally and pirates to defeat.

********

The sun began to sink behind the cliffs, setting the sky ablaze with shimmering oranges and pinks, the late afternoon light dancing over the sea.  But Katniss had no time to admire it, to study it. To wonder why it reminded her so much of Peeta.

She stood at a window at the highest point of the mansion, eyes trained carefully on the edge of the cliff, waiting to see the first sign of the pirates.  She’d ridden to the peacemakers soon after Peeta had left.  They were a bunch of scared weaklings, breaking into fits of hysteria the moment she mentioned pirates.  But she’d threatened and bullied them until they finally agreed, and they were now situated both around the property and inside the mansion, waiting. Her sisters were as well, though she wasn’t entirely sure whether it was for defensive purposes or not.  

After seeing what Johanna was wearing, she was definitely worried it wasn’t.

The Major General was holed up in his study.  He’d simply told her he _‘did enough of that defensive type of shit at work’_ , and promptly settled into his favored threadbare armchair with a bottle of whisky.

In all honesty, he was probably more of a hindrance than a help, so it worked out for the best.

Katniss reached up, absently touching the Mockingjay pin she’d attached to her blouse.  It was hard to believe that only that morning she had recovered her family’s possessions, only that morning she’d believed she’d be with Peeta forever.  The pin now would simply serve as a reminder to her that you don’t always get what you want, but to fight for it anyway.

She squinted as she saw some movement at the edge of the cliff, and her heart began to race.

They were coming.

********

Peeta tried to drown out the singing around him.  Something that had always amused him – the constant songs the pirates would sing like they were professional showmen on stage – now grated on his nerves.  Singing about being a lecherous pirate was one thing; being a damned annoying one was another.

He took the last wooden step before they reached the grassy lawn, and stood behind Snow and Crane.  Effie stood beside him, surprisingly clad in a midnight blue jacket and breeches ( _“Oh, to hell with it, Peeta,” she’d told him when he’d commented in surprise on her outfit.  “I can’t really bemoan manners and wearing pants when we’re planning to burn a mansion down, can I?”_ )

“Well, boys-” Snow began.

“And Effie,” she interjected, unable to help herself.

“And Effie,” Snow added, rolling his eyes.  “Here we are.  To plunder and pillage and retrieve the treasure we lost so long ago!  Don’t be afraid to take what you want.  I will.”  He turned, and waggled his eyebrows at Peeta.  His blood boiled, unsure exactly what Snow’s words completely meant.

But he had a good enough idea.  And he didn’t like it at all.

“C’mon,” Peeta said. “Let’s just get in there and get it over with.”

“Now, now, I hope you didn’t say that to Katniss this afternoon,” Crane snickered, and the pirates around him laughed with glee.  _Assholes._ Peeta rolled his eyes, but began to move forward, unsheathing his sword, and holding it aloft.  He didn’t have to like the situation he was in.  But he had to at least make the most of it.

The pirates stormed across the lawn.

********

Katniss watched as the final rays of light from the sun disappeared, and darkness fell over the mansion.  Lit torches flickered in the night, showing her the advancement of the pirates across the lawn. They weren’t very subtle, really, with their loud chorusing - the element of surprise certainly wasn’t their forte.

She moved from the room, sprinted down the main staircase and into the library, where her sisters were waiting.

“Are you ready?” She asked them.  They all nodded, eyes lit with enthusiasm.  “Ok.  Just remember, we have to stop them at any cost.  This is our home.  We must defend it until our last breath.”

“But what if one of them captures us?” Madge asked.  Katniss rolled her eyes.  Madge was as transparent as glass.

“I swear to god, Madge, if you get captured on purpose, I’ll come after you myself.  I don’t care how cute you thought that pirate was.”

“But Gale _was_ cute!”

“Seriously, Madge?  You know his name?!”  Madge looked away, a smile playing on her lips.

“Maybe…..”

“Forget it.  You have to be with me on this one.  Ok?”  Her sisters nodded, but she could feel a faint sense of disappointment emanating from them.

This was ridiculous.  How was she a part of this family again?

She glanced through the glass panels of the window closest to her.  The pirates were so close now she could hear the singing loud and clear.  She took a deep breath, tightened her grip on the sword she’d taken from her father – _hey, if he wasn’t going to use it, she may as well_ – and moved to the upper level. 

She was ready.

********

The wide, wooden front doors to the mansion were beaten aside, and the pirates streamed into the entrance.  They didn’t waste time, paintings stripped from the walls, furniture torn apart, vases shattered for no reason other than because they could.

Peeta roamed around, trying to look like he was participating when he was really just searching for Katniss.  He didn’t want to ruin her home, or cause her harm, or make her any angrier at him than he was sure she was.

No matter how indifferent she’d been at the end when he’d gone, he knew he’d probably be pretty pissed if she’d told him she was leaving him to live on a ship with a bunch of men.  So he could only imagine she felt the same.

He watched as pirates fought peacekeepers, long sharp swords clashing against stubby, wooden batons.  He watched as Snow danced around the room, gleefully surveying the scene around him unfold, and move up the stairs in the direction of the library.

He knew he had to keep an eye on Snow – and make sure he kept away from Katniss – so he quickly followed him, careful to make sure he wasn’t seen.  The last thing he needed was for Snow to find out he wasn’t actively participating in the rampage.

Peeta took the last turn into the library, and stopped short.  There, in the middle of the top floor of the library, were Katniss and her sisters, hacking and sawing at a large square rope ladder that had been flung up and over the balustrade from the lower level.  A dozen of his crewmates were trying to climb it, and Snow was standing at the bottom, actively encouraging them.  Peeta looked up and caught Katniss eye.

The look she gave him wasn’t friendly.  But, hell, it still turned him on.

Finally, the tethering ropes were hacked through, and the ladder dropped to the ground, taking the pirates with it.  They hit the ground with a thud, but it didn’t dissuade them.  They simply headed for the spiral staircase – for which Peeta thought they were plain stupid for not using before.

“Retreat!” Katniss called to her sisters.  “To the rendezvous!”  They scrambled out of the room, squealing and almost trampling over each other in their haste.  It didn’t stop the pirates, who quickly followed them out of the room, swords aloft and ready.  Peeta scrambled up the stairs, following the procession out of the library and down the hall, finding himself in a giant, indoor gymnasium.

It was bedlam.

Pirates, peacekeepers, Katniss’ sisters….everyone was in this one room, fighting with whatever instrument they could get their hands on.  Even the Major General had found his way in there, albeit standing in the corner, unperturbed, slugging back shots of whiskey.

Peeta watched as one of the pirates advanced upon Katniss, who was distracted and in mid-swordfight with the chef from the ship.

_Shit, who the hell gave **him** a sword?  He could barely use a freaking whisk!_

Peeta lunged through the fighting bodies, throwing himself at the pirate about to attack Katniss.  They tumbled to the ground, and Peeta punched him solidly in the nose, knocking him out cold.  Katniss whirled at the noise, her sword flying out and slicing along the chef’s arm as she went.  He dropped to the ground, writhing in pain, and both Katniss and Peeta rolled their eyes at his over-dramatized actions.  Peeta rose to his feet, and stood face to face with Katniss.

“Are you happy?” she practically spat at him.  “You’re ruining my home.  My sisters are ridiculously torn between fighting these guys and furiously making out with them.  My life is ruined.  I-” he cut her off as he gripped her arms and pulled her to him, covering her mouth with his in a heated kiss.  She was frozen, determined not to respond to him, to be indifferent, but it didn’t last long as she flung her arms around his neck and returned the kiss, grinding her body into his.

“Shit, Katniss, not here,” he muttered in between kisses, despite the fact he was sliding his hands from her arms and down her back, clutching her ass.

“I don’t care, Peeta.  If this is the last moment I get to be close to you I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth,” she breathed, and his eyes rolled back into his head at her words.  He shifted, sucking on the delicate skin below her ear, then stiffened.

“Peeta?” she asked, when it was evident that he’d stopped all his movements.  “Peeta?”  She tentatively pulled away, and saw Snow behind him, sword held menacingly to the side of Peeta’s throat.  He slowly turned so he faced Snow, shielding Katniss’ body behind him. The entire room fell silent and was still, watching the scene in front of them unfold.

“Peeta, you disappoint me,” Snow drawled.  “While all this anarchy abounds around you, the shenanigans of pirates, you elect to stand ambivalent to it and instead engage in a dalliance with the little girl on fire.  Although, I guess I can’t blame you, she is a wildcat in the sack....”  Katniss looked at him, confused.

“Uh….I don’t think so.”

“Oh, yes.  I don’t know where you learned those moves, but I can’t blame Peeta for wanting to experience them,” he winked at them, and from over Snow’s shoulder Peeta saw Effie blush.  He cleared his throat, pretty sure he knew where this was headed.

“Snow, did you actually see Katniss when you were….dalliancing?”  

Snow laughed.  “Oh, no….That was one of the fun things, the whole blindfold and being in the dark.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t me,” Katniss piped up.  “I shot out of there as quick as I could.”  Snow’s forehead furrowed as he looked at her in confusion.

“Well, then, if it wasn’t you, who was it?” He asked sarcastically.  Effie made a small mewling sound, but he heard it and whirled, his eyes wide.  “You? Effie?  It was you?”  She nodded hesitantly, but a wide smile slowly crossed his face.  “Well, well.  You’ve been holding out on me all these years, Effie.  I might have to punish you for that.” He winked at her, and she giggled, holding a hand dramatically to her heart.

Katniss and Peeta rolled their eyes again.  

Snow turned back to them, all traces of playfulness gone. “Now what shall I do with you?  It’s quite evident you’re a traitor for the second time, Peeta.  You sunk The Capitol, and now this.  You know what we do with repeat offenders.”

“I’ve already walked the plank once,” Peeta reminded him.

“No, Peeta.  A traitor twice over must be punished with immediate death.”  The entire room let out a shocked gasp, and Peeta’s eyes widened, horrified.  Having to live without Katniss was one thing.  Having to die without _being_ with her was another.

“Hold it, hold it,” a voice grumbled from the other side of the room.  They looked over to see the Major General shoving his way through the crowded room, pushing those in front of him out of the way. “Look, I’m pretty sure in old maritime law a re-offending traitor can either be sentenced to death or banishment from his crew.  Why don’t you go the banishment route?”  Snow eyed him beadily, unsure whether to believe his words.

“I’ve never heard of this law,” he retorted.

“Of course you wouldn’t.  You’re a pirate.  Pretty sure you’ve never looked at a rule book in your life.”  Snow continued to look at him, considering, turning to listen to Crane who was whispering in his ear.

“Is this true?” Peeta heard Katniss ask her father softly. The Major General shrugged.

“I’ve got no bloody idea.  Just making this up as I go along.  But you want a happy ending, right?”  Katniss looked at him, then looked at Peeta, her features softening.

“Yeah, I want a happy ending.”

“Then dammit, girl, get your frigging happy ending.”  He half pushed her forward, and her feet stumbled.

“It’s true,” she declared loudly to Snow.  “And I accept full responsibility for him if you elect for banishment.”

“And tell me why I should do that, rather than kill him?  I’d prefer to kill him, you know.”  Peeta watched as Katniss took a deep breath, jutting her chin forward.

“I know you do.  But I want a happy ending.”  Snow looked at her incredulously, then burst into laughter.

“You want a happy ending.”  It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes.”  Snow studied her, then look at Peeta, her father, then Effie.  Then turned in a half circle, looking around the room.  He sighed.

“Fine.  This is your story after all.  Have your damn happy ending.  I guess I’ll go and have mine too.”  He sheathed his sword, picked up Effie, flung her over his shoulder and strode out of the room to the cheers of Katniss’ sisters, the peacekeepers and the pirates.  Katniss threw her arms around Peeta happily, pressing small kisses all over his face.

“We did it!  You’re free.”  He shook his head at her and smiled. 

“No, Katniss, _you_ did it.  You and your father.  Thank you,” he said, turning to the Major General.  He shrugged.

“Didn’t think I could deal living in a house with a bunch of sad sack females for the rest of my life,” he replied.  He glanced around the room, and caught each one of his daughters wrapped in a passionate embrace with a pirate. “Shit.  I’m gonna need another drink.”  He stalked off, and Katniss giggled. 

It was music to Peeta’s ears.

“I don’t think Snow’s going to have much of a crew left,” she observed, and he watched her wince as she spied her youngest sister hungrily kissing one of the crew.

“Well, I guess he’s going to have to banish us all.  From his non-existent boat,” he grinned, and tucked a stray tendril of hair behind her ear, resting his hand against her cheek.  “Now, what was this about a happy ending?”  She smiled back at him.

“I don’t want to be unhappy.  I don’t want any more fighting or peacekeepers or thieves.  I want to kiss and make up, and for everything to work out fine.”

“Well then, let’s do it.  Let’s give ourselves a happy ending, and get married.”

“I’d already agreed to that, Peeta.”

“Just say yes again, to appease me.”

“Yes.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

 


End file.
